I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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