omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Randomize
