So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
