Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
