Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
