Say something about gay babies.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
