Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
