Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
