He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
