I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
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