i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Randomize
