so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
