HIV tests are more positive than that guy
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
