My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
