Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
