when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Randomize
