lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
