Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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