In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I just found puke in my bra..
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
