god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I just forgot I was standing up.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
