question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
