dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Randomize
