He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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