If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
