when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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