I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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