omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
