I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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