Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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