My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
