I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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