Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Randomize
