My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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