I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Randomize
