I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
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