Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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