Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
