Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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