I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
My boob is missing a layer of skin
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
