The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
