dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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