ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
