If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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