problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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