is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
