the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Randomize
