do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
