Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I deserve this hangover.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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