I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
