he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
