I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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