You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
